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Record Review: Salicylic Reaches - The Bristle Cakes (2006)
 "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture." – Elvis Costello
Salicylic Reaches
The Bristle Cakes
Whorefrost Records, 2006
9.5/10
Tilting at multiple windmills – viz., in quasi-chronological order, their underrated and commercially disastrous sophomore ... more >> |
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The Internet Found On Suspected Paedophile's Computer
 Police have discovered the Internet on the personal computer of the alleged paedophile known as Fiddler X. The Internet is notorious for its wealth of pornographic imagery and lack of ... more >> |
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Wind Chill Factor, Thermal Energy Cancel Out, Leave Burning Man Strapped to Airbus Fuselage at 'Comfortable Room Temperature'
 In a daring experiment to illustrate the interaction of thermodynamic properties, Danish engineer Per Woym had himself doused in kerosene, set alight and strapped to the nosecone of an SAS ... more >> |
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Video of Cat Solving World Financial Crisis Uploaded to YouTube
 | | Puffball: used combination of Bayesian probability, anthropological arguments and innovative repurposing of fluid dynamics equations |
Puffball, owned by Ariel Fischer (13) of Calumet City, Illinois, is shown using a combination of Bayesian probability calculus, socio-anthropological arguments, and (perhaps most remarkably) a modified form of the Navier-Stokes equations for fluid dynamics to set forth and justify a five-year intra- and international fiscal plan which purports definitively to resolve the weakness and instability currently plaguing the world's economies.
Claudio Albanese, visiting Professor in Financial Mathematics at King's College London, told the Ferret that he is "stunned, humbled and profoundly impressed" by the ingenuity and rigour of Puffball's thesis. "There are some technical issues that need to be ironed out," Prof. Albanese continued, "but overall this is excellent work. The application of the modified Navier-Stokes methods, effectively treating the world economy as a fluid body analogous to real-world liquids, borders on genius."
His approbation is echoed by most of the academic community. Fischer, asked by Fox News what made her decide to film and upload Puffball's unusual behaviour, replied that the pet was "just like too cute, working out all those problems and whatever. I totally had to show [friends] Didi [Diane Nguyen] and Elaine [Gosford] what he was up to, it was like oh my god, I knew they'd just totally freak out."
The 4-minute video is available in both normal and high-quality mode, and since being uploaded less than 12 hours ago has already attracted over 200 comments, including "lol sooooooo adorabel xxxxxxxxxxx (mittens20911)", "wtf bitch dat cat is fukt UP (heman_wdc4eva)" and "nice site! Che@p c1Al1s here www.linktracker.com/sja8776ah (williamobede34)."
Watch the video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBO2U7SZ5qs |
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Man Too Lazy To Speak Wins £12m Lottery Jackpot | 
"Venus De Milo O'Shea" Receives Mixed Reaction | 
Prime Minister Divisible By 809, Tribunal Reveals | 
Golden Snitch Caught By Henri In Euro Quidditch Qualifier | 
Porn Industry Rocked By Celibacy Scandal |
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(Editorial by Patrick Pending)
The factsheet released this quarter by the ICBL makes for a sobering read: over 300 landmines, cluster bombs and anti-personnel mines are destroyed every day by careless children wandering into the minefields of Afghanistan, Cambodia, Laos, Angola, ... 
WEILL CORNELL MEDICAL CENTER, N.Y.: At a jubilant press conference yesterday, a team of delighted immunologists announced they had discovered the medical holy grail: a complete cure for AIDS. Containing only lime and coconut — cheap and readily available raw ... 
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