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Spy Film Uses Telex Effect On Location Titles
 A new spy film from director Tony Scott will display location titles in the bottom-left corner of the screen letter by letter from left to right, accompanied by a computerised ... more >> |
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Outcry Over Monk-In-Chowder Case Misplaced
 The tide of indignation that has swept through the media folllowing the discovery last week of a Nepalese monk in a bowl of chowder at a fashionable Newcastle restaurant would ... more >> |
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Both Teams Keen To Win Sports Match
 The captains of both teams to play in this Saturday's hotly awaited sports match have stated that they are eager to win. "No doubt about it," said Ken Pross of ... more >> |
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Politics & Crime
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Wind Farm Used Breeze Labour
The Managing Director of Cefn Croes Wind Farm in Snowdonia resigned yesterday, after a whistleblower leaked damning revelations that the energy producer was using breezes as low as 10mph in its workforce. On the eve of his resignation MD Worrall Fisher wrote, "someone must take responsibility for this breach of ...
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Compton Man Stabbed To Death With Macbook Air
Los Angeles County, CA: Compton resident Ramón Gutierrez (25) died in hospital yesterday after being stabbed twice in the abdomen with an Apple Macbook Air laptop. LA County Sheriff's Office are questioning two men over the incident but have yet to make an arrest.
The Macbook Air was released by ...
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The Internet Found On Suspected Paedophile's Computer
Police have discovered the Internet on the personal computer of the alleged paedophile known as Fiddler X. The Internet is notorious for its wealth of pornographic imagery and lack of censorship. Though the discovery constitutes only circumstantial evidence, investigating officer Det. Insp. Brian Souness is "now confident that the critical ...
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Microsoft Office Assistant Charged With Lewd Conduct
Following a 'sting' operation undertaken by LAPD's vice squad, the Microsoft Office Assistant has been charged with lewd conduct after propositioning an undercover detective. Officer Maria Rodriguez was posing as the novelist Martin Amis in a routine operation when the incident took place. After around 38 seconds of typing words ...
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US Soldier Fires Warning Shot Into Iraqi Farmer's Face
Senior US Army officials are investigating an incident which occurred yesterday outside Mosul in northern Iraq, in which an American infantryman fired a warning shot directly into farmer Karim Selman al-Zaidi's face, killing him instantly. Al-Zaidi allegedly refused to stop his tractor at a US checkpoint.
The investigation has already revealed ...
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Humans Return Gift of Consciousness
After what Richard Dawkins called "a multi-millennial rollercoaster ride of joys, sorrows, ups and downs," the human race will give up the gift of self-awareness on March 22, 2009. The decision, made by an international quorum of the world's foremost thinkers including Dawkins, neuropsychologist Steven Pinker, authors Thomas Pynchon, Gabriel ...
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Man (48) Steals Nephew's Nose
A Cardiff man with no history of violence or theft stole his 6-year-old nephew's nose yesterday in an act of unprovoked brutality.
The incident occurred while Marcus Bowen (48), an unmarried claims adjuster, was visiting his brother Hefin's family in Newport, Wales. The Bowens had finished dinner, and were eating dessert ...
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London Suburb Has Negative Minority Population, Says Report
Exclusive and gentrified suburb Hampstead Garden in the Borough of Barnet, London, has a numerically negative population of blacks and Asians, according to a report commissioned by the Home Office in December last year.
"It is an idiosyncrasy of some of the advanced statistical methods we employ," explains Stuart Brownley of ...
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W-Ray scare in state hospitals
An unnamed whistle-blower in the NHS has claimed that some state hospitals use cheap W-ray machines instead of the safer X-ray devices in order to cut costs.
The Ferret has acquired documents from the NHS source which allege that up to eight hospitals in the UK use W-ray machines on a ...
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''There Were Six Of Them, But They Moved Fively,'' Says Bearded Madman | 
Commuter Chaos: London Underground Contracts Carpal Tunnel Syndrome | 
Boy Survives Plane Crash By Falling Onto Other Plane | 
New Range Of Perspirant-Odorants Targets "Dirty Old Pound" | 
Hornless Unicorn Baffles Dumb Zoologists |
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