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Microsoft Sues Self for Copyright Infringement
 Software giant Microsoft has begun legal proceedings against itself for copyright infringement, The Ferret can reveal.
In November 2005, two Microsoft department heads Leon Schaeffer (Office Suite Development) and Brian Coffey ... more >> |
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Internet Subsidence Could Worsen, Experts Warn
 The Internet, which is already listing at an angle of about 3 degrees to the horizontal, could subside even more, experts have warned at the Annual W3C Convention in San ... more >> |
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Big Pharma Attempts To Pass Off Worthless Time-Travel Tablet As ''Sleeping Pill''
 Pharmaceuticals giant Pfizer is in serious trouble after it was revealed that the company's new 'sleeping pill' Chronozepam is in fact a worthless time-travel tablet with no soporific effect whatever. ... more >> |
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Video of Cat Solving World Financial Crisis Uploaded to YouTube
 | | Puffball: used combination of Bayesian probability, anthropological arguments and innovative repurposing of fluid dynamics equations |
Puffball, owned by Ariel Fischer (13) of Calumet City, Illinois, is shown using a combination of Bayesian probability calculus, socio-anthropological arguments, and (perhaps most remarkably) a modified form of the Navier-Stokes equations for fluid dynamics to set forth and justify a five-year intra- and international fiscal plan which purports definitively to resolve the weakness and instability currently plaguing the world's economies.
Claudio Albanese, visiting Professor in Financial Mathematics at King's College London, told the Ferret that he is "stunned, humbled and profoundly impressed" by the ingenuity and rigour of Puffball's thesis. "There are some technical issues that need to be ironed out," Prof. Albanese continued, "but overall this is excellent work. The application of the modified Navier-Stokes methods, effectively treating the world economy as a fluid body analogous to real-world liquids, borders on genius."
His approbation is echoed by most of the academic community. Fischer, asked by Fox News what made her decide to film and upload Puffball's unusual behaviour, replied that the pet was "just like too cute, working out all those problems and whatever. I totally had to show [friends] Didi [Diane Nguyen] and Elaine [Gosford] what he was up to, it was like oh my god, I knew they'd just totally freak out."
The 4-minute video is available in both normal and high-quality mode, and since being uploaded less than 12 hours ago has already attracted over 200 comments, including "lol sooooooo adorabel xxxxxxxxxxx (mittens20911)", "wtf bitch dat cat is fukt UP (heman_wdc4eva)" and "nice site! Che@p c1Al1s here www.linktracker.com/sja8776ah (williamobede34)."
Watch the video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qBO2U7SZ5qs |
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World's Oldest Child Throws Tantrum In Nursing Home | 
'Spectacles, Tentacles, Wallet And Watch,' Remembers Christian Octopus | 
Racehorse Given Whimsical Name | 
"Venus De Milo O'Shea" Receives Mixed Reaction | 
''There Were Six Of Them, But They Moved Fively,'' Says Bearded Madman |
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(Editorial by Patrick Pending)
The factsheet released this quarter by the ICBL makes for a sobering read: over 300 landmines, cluster bombs and anti-personnel mines are destroyed every day by careless children wandering into the minefields of Afghanistan, Cambodia, Laos, Angola, ... 
WEILL CORNELL MEDICAL CENTER, N.Y.: At a jubilant press conference yesterday, a team of delighted immunologists announced they had discovered the medical holy grail: a complete cure for AIDS. Containing only lime and coconut — cheap and readily available raw ... 
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